I am sad and I could cry, but I can’t.
Today I thought I will make an audio for her, to say her
name and let it record.
Her, who is she? Is she real? Is she a projection? Is she a
scape? Is she real?
I don´t know, but I think I will know soon, because I’m
going to look at her face from this stupid phone and I’m going to tell her: I love
you, I want your body, I want your time, the time we can have, I want to feel
you in my skin, being able to kiss you, I want to have you, I want to laugh with
you, I want to walk next to you through the streets of London, through the streets
of Madrid, through the streets of Burgos, on the beach, in Brighton, I want you
take me by the hand, I want to be in you, even if it is just one evening.
I want something, anything.
I am talking to you when I was thinking about talking to myself.
To say what I want, suddenly it’s like to say what I am
missing and at the same time, I don’t know if it is something silly I’m making
up, something I´m trying to make up all these years.
I´m waiting for your call to tell you all these things, to tell
you I love you and I want to do it, to try it.
I don´t care where, when, how much…specially how much. I don’t
care.
I´m 54 years old and in this moment, I only care about now.
Now I am alone, and I am thinking about you like every
fucking minute of these last years.
And I am going to send you this audio as I know you won´t
understand, that is why.
